Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
YfAm4 1 mon.ago"Daylight Saving Time. Seriously. 'Daylight Savings Time.' Where... where are these savings? I've been looking! I check my bank account, nothing. I check my couch cushions, maybe a few quarters, but no extra hours of sunshine. They say we 'spring forward.' So, is it like a layaway plan? We give them an hour now, and... what, we get it back later? With interest? Because frankly, the interest rate on that hour seems terrible. I feel like I'm losing money on this deal. And who is the bank of Daylight Savings, anyway? Is there a branch? Can I walk in and be like, 'Yes, I'd like to make a withdrawal from my daylight account please. I had a really cloudy Tuesday, and I need about 3 hours of premium, golden-hour light.' Can you imagine the customer service? 'Thank you for calling Daylight Savings Bank, how can I brighten your day?' 'Yes, hi, my name is John Doe, and I seem to be missing an hour from my balance. It just... disappeared on Sunday.' 'Ah yes, sir, that was the automatic 'spring forward' debit. It's in the terms and conditions, tiny print, scroll all the way down.' 'So when do I get it back?' 'Uh, sometime in the fall? Maybe? Depends on the market fluctuations of... atmospheric pressure and perceived leisure time.' And don't even get me started on the 'falling back.' We fall back? Sounds dangerous. Like the daylight savings bank just trips and drops your hour somewhere. 'Oops! Sorry folks, we had a little 'fall back,' we'll just... sweep this hour under the rug until next year.' It's the only savings plan I know where the government just takes an hour, promises to give it back later, and everyone just collectively shrugs and says, 'Well, I guess I'm just tired now.' I say, if we're gonna have Daylight Savings, let's open a proper account. Get a debit card. Tap to pay for extra time at the park! 'Yeah, just gonna need about 45 minutes of evening glow here, run it through the Daylight Savings terminal.' Until then, I'm still waiting for my statement. Pretty sure my balance is zero, maybe even negative."
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The game was between the rodents and the insects. In the first half, the rodents were doing well, but in the second half, the centipede really pulled the weight of the insect team and ended up winning the game for them. After the insects were done celebrating, the spider went up to the centipede and said, "you did great, but where were you during the first half of the game?" The centipede replies, "I was putting on all of my shoes!"
He's really TARIFFIED!
Won’t be making them any longer. Bummer.
A hootenanny
They’re always making a scene.
In a wiki wiki
She looked surprised.
Irish I could though...
I told him they should run back in.
They're just really down to earth people.
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